And The Winner Is
by samshair
Summary: Today marks the opening of the first ever Final Fantasy VII Awards! Probably the last, too, so enjoy it while you can, and let Red Carpet hosts Reno and Tifa guide you through the Teen rated story.
1. Red Carpet Part One

**Right now starts the first ever Final Fantasy Awards! (We cannot guarantee this is ACTUALLY the first ever. We're not that creative…)**

**Our Red Carpet hosts Reno the Turk, and Tifa Lockhart will begin the show after our very cool opening jingle.**

**('Victory Theme')**

**Also...Final Fantasy VII belongs to Square Enix...and...I don't know who owns the rights to RenoxVincent manga...  
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* * *

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"We have quite the array of guests here tonight, don't we, Reno?" She said as she adjusted her headset. From her spot on the balcony of LOVELESS theatre, Tifa could see everyone arriving. You have to trust her, though, _It's not that exciting._

"We sure do, Tifa. If they ever decide to show up" grumbled Reno, who was standing halfway up the carpet, "here comes _another_ limo."

The millionth limousine that night pulled to a stop in front of the carpet. What was sure to be more fans were shouting at each other from inside.

But it wasn't fans that clambered out of the vehicle. It was (finally) some 'honored guests'. People who were nominated.

Three young men, pulling at each others' hair, rolled out. Well, two. The third was just watching.

"It's not _my_ fault you decided to put it in the freezer! You forgot about it, so it's _your_ problem!" The first boy was not a day over fifteen, yet had shockingly silver hair. The second was older, and sobbing, "Mother!"

The third, calmest man was very feminine as he smirked at his siblings, "don't cry now," he said.

He looked around, and spotted Reno, who was walking towards them.

"Tifa, look," he was saying, "it's the throw-away villains; Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz!" He chuckled cockily, unaware that Kadaj was drawing his sword behind him. Tifa winced, but relaxed as Rude, another Turk, grabbed Kadaj's arm and led him inside.

As the door to the lobby swung shut, someone screamed, cutting through the crowd's mumblings.

"IT'S VINCENT!"

Fans of the basement dwelling so-called Vampire pushed to the front of the cement barriers to get a close look at their idol. They held back no excitement as they thrust pens and books at Vincent, in a demand for him to sign them all. However, he ignored them as he walked towards the door.

"Giving his fans the cold shoulder like that…damn you Vincent Valentine!" Reno cursed, "I would never leave that many gir-fans…unattended!" he rushed to the side of the carpet, saying, 'don't worry, ladies, I'll sign your…"

The fan girls were looking at Reno with puppy dog eyes, holding out books and pens. But they weren't just any books, they were…

"That's me…and…Vincent…why the hell do we looks so…!? When did I sell the rights to me?" Obviously offended by the unauthorized yaoi, Reno reluctantly signed the covers of several books before an unnatural wind picked up, and a helicopter was overhead.

A Shin Ra copter was maneuvering itself to the heli-pad on the theater roof. On the screen of the live broadcast TV, Tifa and Reno saw Tseng, Elena, and Rufus jump from the helicopter, and rush into a door leading downstairs.

"The carpet ain't good enough for you, Shinra?" Reno shouted towards the roof.

"Umm…Reno…doesn't he sign your pay check?" Tifa asked nervously.

"What pay check?" Reno inquired.

Dropping the subject, Tifa shouted, "It's six thirty! We've got half an hour before the decent show starts, and as you've noticed, the Turks have all arrived now."

Reno was still muttering about 'pay checks' when a feather fell from above.

"Don't tell me Cid killed another bird with his shi-"

It wasn't Cid. Everyone was looking up, as Genesis Rhapsodos glided to a stop at the edge of the street. Most of the crowd, at this point, was demanding he quote LOVELESS, and this he did.

"Even if the morrow is barren of promise," he paused dramatically, "nothing shall forestall my return."

To the screams of fans, Genesis disappeared beyond the open theater doors, red leather coat flowing in his wake.

"And nothing has." mumbled Reno, "not to mention you made the narrator write funny, thus making me speak strangely as well."

Tifa, unaffected by Genesis, and not so weak minded as to have the narrator control her speech, cleared her throat.

"There's more to be seen, everyone, with Zack and Cloud arriving shortly, but now it's time for a message," her voice became robotic as she read from a cue card, "from our friends at the Mak-O's cereal company."

* * *

Hi everybody!

I'm the writer of this story...

As it's an awards show, I will be handing out trophys to characters that excel in certain areas, and I need some votes.

What catagories, who should win, who will win the most, the least, etc., because I don't want a bunch of angry people who didn't believe Sephiroth was the best first class SOLDIER.

Honestly, the only people I can poll on this are my friends. Maybe some of those forum-goers, but otherwise...


	2. Red Carpet Part Two

Tifa heard the roar of two motorbikes before the cereal jingle had ended. Cloud Strife and Zack Fair had barely turned off the main street before some of the rowdier fans had to be held back by security. Cloud could've taken them on his own, but what would that do his image? Anyways, security was whoever happened to be arriving at the same time. In this case, Cid, Yuffie, Cait Sith, and Red XIII. Cid had parked his airship in a nearby field, and was now busy swearing at anyone who tried to come near the group of four plus two.

"Get yer filthy hands back, and keep your god dammed, messed up pairings to yourselves!"

Yuffie skipped along behind Cid with Red and Cait Sith at her heels. Cloud and Zack parked their vehicles, and joined the precession. Tifa could hear Cid swearing as the door to the lobby swung shut.

"They blow it way out of proportion!" Zack said, sitting in a fluffy armchair, beside Tseng.

"Yeah." Agreed Cloud, who was filling a Styrofoam cup with coffee.

"I mean, except for that one who tried to touch your--"

"Hair! Yeah. She tried to touch my hair…" said Cloud, a little evasively.

"That's not--"

But the rest of the sentence was lost with Cid slamming the door behind him.

"And don't you try that again, or I'll shoot all your effing fingers off!"

"Someone tried to touch the Highwind, Cid?" Zack asked.

"Yes. Got their fingerprints all over it. 'Spect the cops'll be here soon."

"For him, or you?" Yuffie sounded unconcerned as to the answer.

To people like Cloud, who had innumerable amounts of fans, Sephiroth was lucky. Not only could he threaten with a big-ass sword, but he had his one wing. He could easily evade the crowds by flying.

"There he goes, everyone!" Reno was looking up as Sephiroth glided above him. "Silver haired bastard…" he added under his breath.

Sephiroth landed on the roof, and went through the same door the Turks had gone through earlier.

He was greeted by the smell of beer, which Cloud had found in his search for stir sticks, and something burning. _Was it…dumbapples? _He though to himself, assembling a small chair in the corner of the room.

Now, cheering was audible from outside. It sounded like 'Sea's a hive!' and 'Air is a hive!'

Zack had a guess to what all this actually meant, and he rushed to the door. Through frosted glass, he could see shapes moving up the middle of the street. Two, maybe three. The crowd was cheering something else now. Although not as loud, it was just as excited.

'Ease a hive do, Ain deal's a hive!'

Zack was one hundred percent sure, now- he swung open the door and ran down the steps.

"Aerith! Angeal! Holy crap, guys!" The crowd cheered for this reunion, and Zack threw his arms around his friends. They both hugged back, and when they finally broke apart, exclaimed in unison:

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"

Reno sighed, not affected by the happy moment. "And they walked hand in hand into the sunset." he mocked.

"That we will!" Zack laughed. He grabbed his friends, and dragged them towards the street.

"Other way, Zack." Angeal said, smiling at the lack of sense coming from his student and friend.

"Oh."

The doors closed and the crowd stood silenced, wondering who bent the rules of the universe to bring back all those people. Five seconds passed before a pair of high heels came clicking up the avenue.

"Hey!" The red head girl panted, "wait for me!" she ran up the carpet and into the theatre.

"That was Cissnei, everyone. Seems Angeal ditched her." more silence passed, and someone shouted, "where's Hollander?"

"Who gives a damn!?" another girl shouted.

"Good point!" Reno called back. "Don't you dare start a fight!"

"Or what?" Someone challenged.

"Or I kill all you B----" Cid shouted from somewhere inside. Everyone was quiet after that, and Barret, Denzel, and Marlene arrived without incident. Denzel wore a tuxedo, and Marlene a sequined dress. Many people still enjoy talking about how cute they were that night.

"Hey, Reno!" Tifa shouted, "only ten seconds until our first show starts! Eight!"

Reno joined in, "seven!" Six!"

Vincent came out of his corner and counted, too. "Five! Four!"

The clock tower banged seven o'clock.

"Threetwoone!" Reno shouted quickly, as the fans made way to get their tickets authorized. By seven thirty, all 15,000 VIPs and audience members were seated happily inside the gigantic LOVELESS theatre.

Outside, however, someone was coming. Someone…wearing a lab coat…

Professor Hojo jumped the cement barrier, and looked around.

"Well…"

He checked his watch.

"Fans…? I'm READY!"

He stuck his arms out, glanced around again, and…

"Oh."

Slumping his shoulders, Hojo shuffled inside. The crickets didn't even bother to chirp.

* * *

Hello again! So, next chapter, just to get you looking foreward to it, includes a song written by Cait Sith, appearances of Dante and Nero, also Sora. Thanks for the catagory suggestions from Shadow's Interceptor, you can leave votes in the message.

Categories:

Best Male Character

Best Female Character

Best Turk

Best Villain

Best Badass

Best Seemingly Useless, but Important Character

Best Hair

Best Costume

Best Spinoff

and

Best Mode Of Transportation


	3. Starting Today, You Are A Host!

A very weaaaak chapter, totaling at only 900 words or something...

I hope you enjoy anyways!

* * *

The backstage crew rushed around, organizing lights, microphones, costumes, and cameras. Scarlet the hostess- Ex, that is- was in her dressing room, vomiting from the stress, and Kunsel needed a replacement…fast!

"I'm so unlucky!" he muttered, "serves me right for breaking that mirror!" He spotted a boy that looked out of place standing on the opposite side of the stage, and ran towards him. But he tripped. Kunsel looked down, and saw a blue cat wearing a cape, and holing what seemed to be a megaphone.

"I'll be your host!" it said into the megaphone. Kunsel rubbed his head and stood up.

"I'm Cait Sith!"

Why Cait Sith wanted to be a host, no one knew- except Reeve, of course, but he opened the show innocently, if a little strangely, with a song.

"_Oh I may not be a kitty, but I made it on TV_

_And I'll beat up Cloud if you can find a better host than me!_

_You can keep your bowties black-"_

Zack looked down at his yellow tie, smirking, and the song continued.

"_-And Genesis can look like Gackt_

_But I am Reeve's mechanic cat, and I know where the party's at!_

_It is hidden in an envelope, that nobody can see_

_I'll open it, and I will know who's name I ought to read:_

_Cloud Strife is one that we all know, he is real brave at heart_

_His heroics and Chocobo hair set him quite far apart…_

_Or maybe I'll say Sephiroth, I really cannot tell, _

_The One Winged Angel Sephiroth, whose anger creates hell…_

_Maybe the name of Cid Highwind will pop into my head_

_And if you deface the Highwind, you'd made off better dead!_

_Or perhaps I will say Tseng, who really is quite the Turk_

_A very strict man, but strong too, although he's still a jerk!-"_

Looking offended, Tseng got up to leave the room, but Elena held him back.

"shhh…" she scaled him Tseng ignored the rest of the song, but Elena listened to its final verse.

"_So listen to my first broadcast, I hope you do not leave_

_I sing better in the shower, but then again…that's just Reeve!"_

Everyone applauded as small fireworks went off around a big picture of Reeve on the stage's screen. Cait Sith bowed and jumped onto the podium. While he introduce two co hosts, Dante and Nero, Kunsel and Weiss ran around backstage, setting up clips for the first category of the night: 'Best Male Lead Character'. Just as the results got printed neatly on a card, Cait Sith strode in. He peeked at the card, laughed to himself, and jumped onto a chair, to see how his two co hosts did.

"Hey, everyone…" Dante leaned into the microphone. He clearly wasn't used to using it. He sounded kind of strange…nasal-y.

"My apologies about Dante," Nero said, "he's just too damn arrogant to admit he's allergic to that effing cat thing." He looked at his partner, expecting a snide comment about his clothing, but Dante merely snuffed pathetically.

"Damn, he's a drama queen too.

"Shut up about that. Just announce the ------- winner so I can leave this ------ popsicle stand and go to ------- bed."

Barret and Tifa, expecting nothing less from a bunch of 'M' rated characters, covered Marlene and Denzel's ears. Although, Cid said nothing worse.

Nero sighed. He read off the card with the nominee's names:

"For the category of Best Male Lead, the nominees are…

Cloud Strife."

Applause from fans echoed in the room, and a short montage of Cloud pictures flashed across the big screen.

"Sephiroth"

More applause, and more pictures.

"Zack Fair"

Again, but possibly louder…

"And Barret Wallace."

For the last time, pictures were shown, and a select shot of each character floated into a corner of the screen.

Nero and Dante clapped with the rest of the crowd. Now, Dante took the microphone, and said, awkwardly again, "And the winner is…"

* * *

I'm sorry, Cait Sith's song rhyming was my main focus...I couldn't figure out where Sora could go in this chapter, but he will be that guy who says 'This is so-and-so's first win and second nomination' or whatever...

I'm gonna try for one category per chapter, does that seem too short? I'll hold off until I can get more opinions on the winner of this round...

Merci!


	4. Lights, Camera, Disaster! And a Winner

Yeah, fail chapter...sorry to those of you who wanted Zack to win! I tallied the votes for each character from these comments, my friends' email, and a short-lived facebook poll (not mine, but very conveniant)

Thanks for all your support!

Also, in case you didn't know...Dante, Nero, and Lady belong to CAPCOM's Devil May Cry series, and Sora is the creation of Square Enix and Disney's Kingdom (epic) Hearts (no, really, play it)

* * *

"The hell? That ass?" Dante shouted into the mic, after opening the envelope. Nero sighed and ripped it from Dante's hands.

"The winner is Cloud Strife!" He said clearly. Everyone applauded, except for Zack. Cloud stood up, and walked onto the stage. A new voice spoke, and it filled the room.

"This is Cloud's first nomination and win, since this _is_ the first ever show like this! Cloud has been the main character of Final Fantasy VII since the original game in 1997. He also made a guest spot on _my_ game, Kingdom Hearts."

Sora had made a trip to do the commentary for the show! He waved from the sound booth behind the audience, and pointed at Cloud, who began to speak.

"You…wouldn't believe I didn't prepare a speech, would you?" He asked. He looked out on the fans, friends, and magazine editors, as if looking for a sign that would tell him what to say.

"I'd like to thank my…mom, dad…and Sephiroth for making me leave home…and Zack Fair for, umm, being there for me…"

He took the meteor shaped trophy, and shuffled off to his seat. Zack glowered at him from behind.

"Why'd you say my name last?" he asked.

"I didn't know…what to say, I was just improvising…" Cloud mumbled. Zack could be somewhat…dramatic at times…

"You said my name after Sephiroth! What am I to you, cold liver?" Zack moped.

"I…think it's _chopped _liver…and, Zack, you're my friend. I said it in no particular order." Cloud hoped he could subdue any anger with the reassuring comment.

"Aww…" Zack said, smiling, and relaxing in his seat.

"You're a softie, you know that?" Kadaj leaned back in his seat to tell Zack, "don't let it go…kill that chocobo-brain!"

"Do you think he's stupid or something?" Cloud said, tensing a fist.

"That's not what he means…please, don't start one of those riots that get on the news because the buildings burnt down, and seven celebrities have died!" Pleaded Tifa, grabbing Kadaj's arm.

"Wow, okay then. I'll stop."

And the boy was true to his word. He sat quietly, glaring at Cloud and Zack, but not killing.

Back on stage, unaware of what could have been, Dante and Nero were fighting on their own.

"You're ruining my big break because you're allergic to a ------- robot cat? What's wrong with you, Dante?" Nero shouted.

"Well, for one thing, since when do you want a big break? And for another, it's not my fault I'm allergic to Reeve's ------- robot cat!" Dante drew his two guns, and fired.

Holes were smoking in the curtain, and a nameless Infantry man was shot down. You would think Dante had better aim.

Nero rolled out of the way of more fire, and grabbed his sword.

Kunsel was rapidly dialling numbers on his cell phone, and dove under a desk just in time to avoid a shot to the chest.

"Hello? Yeah. Okay. HURRY!" he shouted into the receiver.

No less than thirty seconds later, Lady kicked down the theatre door, with a machine gun in hand.

"DANTE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!"

No response.

"DANTE!" she tried again, "YOU KNOW THE OWNERS OF THE THEATRE ARE GOING TO MAKE YOU _PAY_ FOR THE DAMAGES?"

Dante ceased fire at the word 'pay'. He put down Ebony and Ivory, jumped off the stage, and left the theatre silently.

Nero sighed, grumbled, "damn it all to hell," and left out the back exit.

Kunsel sat backstage, face buried in his hands. The special co hosts weren't going that well. Weiss laughed.

"They're from an 'M' rated game! You should have hired Tom Nook if you're concerned about the show's content."

"I like Animal Crossing, so what?" Kunsel shot back.

Meanwhile, Reno had taken matters into his own hands…

He casually strolled onstage, laughed awkwardly and said:

"I'll be announcing the next category."

A short applause followed. Now Reno was talking about the next category: Best Female Lead.

"Women play an important role in society," he was saying. Everyone could feel a rude punch line coming.

But it didn't.

Because the network wanted something PG-13, they replaced his head with a squirrel, and played 'Fiddle De Chocobo' over his voice. And then…

"-father. Anyways…I introduce our nominees for 'Best Female Character'!

Tifa Lockhart!"

A short Tifa-themed slideshow, and applause.

"Yuffie Kisagiri!"

More pictures, applause.

"Aeris Gainsborough,"

More.

"And, finally, Marlene Wallace-wait, what the hell! She's, like, six!"

Everyone clapped more, and Kunsel shuffled out with an envelope.

"Congratulations to the winner of this round…after the break! Stay tuned!"

* * *

Yay me~

I know, Marlene, WTF, but- hey! I'm just writing what the evil bunnies tell me to.

Trust me, you don't want to piss off the evil muse bunnies.


	5. Hair and Costuming

Sorry about the whole not updating thing. I got into a school funk:

Study, eat, sleep, study, eat, shower, sleep.

So, after a long delay, we're back on the air!

* * *

"Thank you for your patience, everyone, NOW!" Reno leaned into the microphone, "I have the envelope!" he waved the small pink card around in the air, brought it down, and tore it open.

"Tifa! Congratulations, Tifa! People love you more that Marlene!"

The crowd clapped, and some boys whistled as Tifa walked onstage. Sora shouted: "this is Tifa's first nomination and win, and I'd like to point out that the audience was right- I forgot Vincent had his own game. Anyways, over to you, Tifa!"

"Thank you, everyone! I really appreciate your support! I'd like to thank the six other Final Fantasy girls I've worked with. Also, Cloud, Denzel, Barrett, Cid, and my other friends for letting me tag along on their adventure. They may be my moral support, but I have to also thank those of you who gave Seventh Heaven enough patronage to stay open- Reno! Maybe I should share my favorite bar incident with you…" The crowd chuckled as Reno, lover of booze, and a guy who somewhat cares about his image, grabbed back the microphone, shoved Tifa aside, laughed and said, "That girl. But stories can wait till later. (Or never)" he added under his breath, "so for now, I'd like to introduce my fellow Turk…ex Turk…Cissnei!" the new red head walked onstage from behind the curtain and said: "Thank you, Reno. Now. Hair is one of the most defining features of a lot of my friends, and of many in general. I'd like to introduce the nominees for the category: Best Hair!"

She clapped with everyone, cleared her throat, and said excitedly: "Sephiroth!"

Sora, from his spot in the sound booth watched the short shampoo commercial-style clip of Sephiroth's hair blowing in the wind. "Spokes boy for L'Oreal, Sephiroth enjoys passing time by destroying planets for his mom, and making Cloud emo-er."

"And speaking of Cloud, he's the second contestant!" Cissnei said,

"That he is. What is this, his third nomination?" Sora asked.

"Well, second. He isn't female." Cissnei replied.

"He cross dressed, he could have been!"

Cloud blushed in the audience, and put his face in his hands.

"Third." Cissnei said firmly cutting across Sora. "Is Tifa, game style."

"See, that. I agree with that!" Sora said.

"You're not supposed to show biased! Shut up, up there!" Cissnei shouted. Sora kept quiet for the final name. "Vincent!"

Everyone was happy that he had been nominated, except for Kadaj, who grumbled, "That' snot fair, he doesn't even think he deserved to be invited. Let alone win anything."

But that wasn't going to help now. Because now was the time that the winner was announced.

"And the winner for best hair is…" Cissnei said, "Sephiroth!"

Cheers and boos echoed in the theatre. Sephiroth stood to accept his prize.

"Sephiroth's first win and second nomination tonight, and I'm not expecting any type of speech from him." Sora said, watching the silver haired man walk upstage, take his award, and walk off.

"That was fast." said Cissnei, only half surprised, "now, there is a sort of a second part to this category. No, it's not worst hair." she added, as Kadaj raised his hand, like a giant grade three student. "It's actually best costume! Now, the nominees are nominated based on their entire wardrobe, not just one outfit, for instance: Cloud is nominated for not only his original outfit, but Advent Children outfit, and even the dress he wears when saving Tifa."

A picture flashed across the screen, of Cloud in a pink dress, and a braided wig. The crowd laughed and cheered, but quieted down for the next nominee. "Tifa is nominated for her original, Advent, and Cowgirl outfits." More cheers, "also nominated is Vincent. For his Turk uniform, and his other costume. And finally, Kadaj will be happy, because somehow the Silver haired brothers got nominated. Must've been a misprint." Cissnei shrugged, and took the envelope out of her pocket. "The winner of best costume is…well, that's odd." She stared at the card, as if willing it to change the name inked on it. "It seems we have a…tie, of sorts." The crowd murmured amongst itself, and Kunsel ran on stage to see for himself.

"T-that's not possible! I had a team of hand-picked workers to count the votes! They should've told me!" he whispered frantically to Cissnei.

"Who did you hire?" she asked,

"Reno and some of his friends from somewhere volunteered to help! They promised to be extra careful!"

Cissnei sighed. Leave it to Kunsel to recruit the unruly, and probably drunk, people possible. But the show would have to go on.

"Cloud, Tifa, why don't you come up together and share the prize?" Cissnei asked. The crowd silenced itself, and Cloud and Tifa walked confusedly on stage.

* * *

Did you know you can watch Glee online? Well, you can!

So much for that box set I wasted good money on.


	6. Tribute

Sorry about those waits in between...I'm busy catching up on the Prince of Tennis OVA. I'm losing interest quickly, though. Maybe I'll just give up?

* * *

Cloud and Tifa looked at each other, and stood. Together, they walked onstage, and each put a hand to the trophy.  
"Well, we live together, so at least we don't have to cut it in half…" Tifa said awkwardly.  
"Yeah." Cloud said. There was a long pause, and suddenly Sora blurted:  
"Well, this is a one of a kind event, folks! Why don't we take a moment for everyone to absorb the fact that they did this for some CloTi action, HUH?"  
Cloud and Tifa turned a strange colour at the mention of their pairing, and shuffled back to their seats.

"Well, after that odd episode, I'd like to introduce Rude to the microphone, and bring Reno back." Cissnei said, stepping aside. The tall, bald Turk was wearing his signature sunglasses, and Reno walked in after him, for what seemed like the twentieth time, he would be doing the presentation.  
"Hi, again." He said, "I think you're all learning to love me."  
Some people in the audience shook their heads, and rubbed their foreheads, as if they had a migraine.  
"The next category is about people who are somehow loved even after what they do. Well, at least one of them is. The category is 'best villain!"  
"Nominees…" Rude said, "Sephiroth. Hojo. Jenova. Genesis." He left no time for applause in between, as he took out the envelope with the winner's name inside it.

"Congratulations, Hojo, you somehow won!" Reno shouted.  
'what's, 'no's, and 'ha-ha's circled the theatre. Hojo took in a great gasp, jumped up, pushed past Rufus, Palmer, and the other ShinRa employees to reach the stage. He snatched up the award, shouted "HELLYEAH!" and hopped back over to his seat.  
Silence at the mad scientist's mad acceptance from the crowd was broken by Reno. He cleared his throat and said, "that was strange, let's forget it ever happened." People nodded in agreement, and somewhere far away, Mikami Teru shouted: "DELETE!"  
Reno sighed and said, "the nest category is slightly better than some other things, which I will not mention, it's BEST BADASS!" Reno looked at the card he was holding. The nominees were written on it. "Hey! I'm on there! Cool, yo!" Reno smiled, and crossed his fingers. "Also, Sephiroth, Cid, and Cloud- Advent Children." he took the envelope from his suit and read, "the natural winner is Cloud! Wait, what the hell?" Reno slammed down the envelope, and looked up to Sora for an answer.  
"Cloud has won one and a half awards tonight, and is probably going to win more after this one, so you shouldn't take it too hard." Sora said. He obviously didn't care, because then he said, "Cloud's gonna take his award without saying anything, so why don't we move on?"  
"Yeah." grumbled Reno, as he gave the award to Cloud, and shuffled backstage. Cloud went back to his seat as Tseng walked up, and straightened his tie.  
"I am Tseng, of the Turks. The next category is 'Best Turk', but before we get started, I was asked to pay tribute to the deceased characters of Final Fantasy VII." He said, then stopped in thought, "I realize these characters, including Zack, Angeal, and Aerith, were able to somehow end up here tonight, but let's face it. They belong to the life stream now."  
Sora pushed a button on the control panel upstairs, and a video started playing on the big screen behind the stage.

The words "Final Fantasy VII: The Fallen" sat on the screen. First, a clip of Aerith, from Crisis Core.  
"Heaven?" Asked Zack quietly.  
"No such luck," Replied Aerith, smiling at the boy who had just fallen from above. "This is a church in the slums." She smiled brighter as Zack sat up, and said, still confused, or maybe not so much, "An angel?"  
Aerith shook her head and said, "I'm Aerith."  
And then a sudden growing, humming noise. The scene changed. Aerith was kneeling, and Sephiroth flying in from above. Cloud reached out, but Sephiroth's sword went clean through Aerith's chest. The screen went black, and the music stopped.  
And Angeal's voice said, "Zack. I'm counting on you for the rest." he pulled up his Buster sword, and Zack, who was kneeling by the man, started to cry. He took the sword, and Angeal said to him, "Never forget your pride."  
And he too, was dead.  
There was more silence in the theatre, as the scene changed again. Cloud was holding Kadaj as he stretched out his arm to the sky and went into the life stream. Admittedly not as emotional for the characters and fans alike, but still, necessary- there was to be no villain discrimination. Again, a new scene. Zack, lying shot down on the ground. The rain came down hard, and although the audience mostly knew what was coming, some needed to borrow tissue from their companions. The scene played out, and as Sephiroth, in the audience thought to himself, 'good times', the on screen Cloud screamed. Ayaka started singing 'Why' live now, as not only Cloud's memories of Zack played out, but of Aerith, Angeal, and those other, nameless faces that died. And then Zack said, over the singing and sobbing fans, "Hold onto your dreams, if you want to be a hero…you have to hold onto your dreams"  
Cloud stood and said, "thank you. I will not forget. Goodnight…Zack." And he left the scene. Now Zack was on screen again, eyes closed.  
"That girl. She said she was scared of the sky. But it must feel great, right? Those wings. I want them, too." he stopped for a moment, and then was lifted into the sky as feathers fell to the ground. Those feathers fell in the theatre, too, and what had been meant as a moment of sadness turned into people concerned with brushing feathers off themselves. But the small amount of chatter was cut off with Sora turning up the volume on the speaker system.  
"Hey." Zack said. "I've become a hero, right?"  
Some people cried, and others turned accusingly towards the three rows of seats occupied by ShinRa SOLDIER. Still others looked angrily at Sephiroth, and the girl behind Angeal hugged him tightly.

Tseng cleared his throat, and said, "Anyways. The nominees for best Turk are…Reno, Rude, Tseng, Elena, and Cissnei. There are five because it was just easier than singling out one to be openly ignored. The winner is going to be luckier, because now they only have a twenty percent chance of being picked." he looked at the name and said…

* * *

That whole 'tribute' thing was me being affected by watching the Golden Globes. I suddenly decided I had to do one! It's like peer pressure! There are some extra categories I want to add possibly. I want to do best theme song, best cut scene from Crisis Core, and best non human, because Red XIII isn't nominated for anything!


	7. Chocobos

Hi everyone! Lazy chapter, just getting back into school...report cards...boo! Also, the purchase of Angel season 3.

* * *

Reno leaned forward in his seat, fists clamped tightly over his acceptance speech flashcards. Rude sat next to him, unemotional as far as anyone could see, because his eyes were hidden.

Elena looked up at Tseng with puppy dog eyes, hoping that by looking this way, Tseng would change the results in her favour.

Cissnei brushed loose hair behind her ear, and twiddled her thumbs, looking nervous.

And Tseng. Either he knew the results and wasn't happy, knew the results, and was trying to stay cool, or had no idea at all. His hands shook slightly as he opened up the envelope for the one category he had a chance in.

"The winner is…Reno!?" Tseng shook his head, and pulled a trophy from the podium to hand to the unruly Turk as he jumped onstage. The audience clapped for him as he took a bow and tapped the microphone.

"Hey everyone…what an honor this is. I finally won something! I knew those years of hard work would one day pay off!"

Tseng coughed into his sleeve, but everyone could clearly hear him saying, "hardly working."

"As I was saying." Reno said, "Thanks to my mom, and to the Prez, who somehow decided to let Tseng, or the Green Monkey Heidegger, or whoever, hire me. Also to Tifa, who only kicked me out of her bar once."

He paused, "Okay, three times. But who's counting. Also to my partner Rude, for being there to blame stuff on, and for back up and stuff. And finally to the moron who decided to create an award show."

He smiled satisfactorily, and was making his way offstage when Kunsel grabbed him and pulled him around the corner of a pillar.

"What were you thinking!?" he whispered.

"It's all gonna be censored on TV, anyways. Who gives a crap what I said?" Reno whispered back.

"The network does! I do! And it's all LIVE, you half-wit!" Kunsel turned from Reno, rubbed his forehead, and shuffled back to his room.

Onstage, things were going slightly smoother. Slightly. Choco Bill and Choco Billy were introducing the award for best mode of transportation.

"And that's how you breed for a black chocobo." said Billy, in conclusion. He could hear some audience members snoring, but he didn't care.

"So, the nominees are Fenrir, that's Cloud's bike, and one wing?…And a Chocobo! Yeah, Chocobos are a great mode of transportation, as you can ride him or her through low-"

"Get on with it!" hissed Kunsel angrily.

"Alright, alright. And the last nominee is the Highwind!"

The audience clapped, and Choco Bill opened the envelope. A handful of Mimett greens fell out of it.

"Sorry, I must've forgotten I left that there…the winner for best transportation is the…Fenrir! Damn!" He shouted.

Cid swore under his breath, and a group of Chocobos looked sadly at the ground. Cloud stood up to accept the award for his bike. The screen flashed with several pictures of the bike, and while some nodded in appreciation of the bike, others shook their heads in disappointment. Choco Billy looked ashamed, and Cid swore again.

"Thanks…" Cloud said, taking his, what? Third-and-a-half award? Well, whatever the award, he took it back to his seat quietly, and Genesis stood to do his part in the show. He was to announce the winner for the category 'best spin-off'.

"This category speaks of the stories that stemmed from the original. Prequels or sequels, they kept the Final Fantasy VII story and fandom alive for a dozen years now. I am here to award the strongest, most appreciated of these stories. May it be mine, or Vincent Valentine's, I do not know. Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess. We seek it thus-"

"Get to the point, already. It's an award show, not a poetry contest!" Kunsel whisper-shouted across the room. Genesis paused, hands in a dramatic expression, envelope in one hand. He stopped talking, and lowered his hands awkwardly.

"Anyways, the nominees are Crisis Core, Advent Children, Dirge of Cerberus, and Before Crisis. The winner is..."

* * *

Smiles, everyone. I'm thinking 6-7 more chapters. That or I just kill it off early. I REALLY want to write High School Musical!

That was a joke. I am determined to finish, if it kills me and I have to hire other people to write in my place. =D

Fun stuff.


	8. Boring!

I know what you're thinking. It's about bloody time! Right? I know. Happy now?  


* * *

"Crisis Core!" Genesis said, not hiding his content.

And that was it. Any chance Kadaj had of winning an award was just crushed. His bottom lip trembled, and his eyes made that strange pre-crying tingling feeling. Suddenly, he stood, drawing the audience's attention

away from Zack's speech, and ran from the theatre, one arm covering his face, his two brothers trailing after him.

Zack cleared his throat. He, Angeal, Aerith, Sephiroth, Genesis, and Cloud were still onstage. The audience turned back and Zack said, "I suppose I'll start over again." He held his trophy up and said, "thank you,

everyone! We couldn't have come up with this game, let alone complete it, without your support! To the fans, this one's for you!" Everyone clapped and cheered, and Zack leaned in again, "and, thanks, mom." Then

he handed the microphone to Genesis.

"Thank you everyone. For if not for your obsession, I may not have come to be." The majority of the audience cheered again, save for the really stupid people who did not understand Genesis' way of speaking. Now,

the Crisis Core gang took their leave as Link stepped to the podium.

"…" The green elf surveyed the audience, holding true to how he never spoke. Rude nodded his approval of what Link was saying, however, and they began a silent conversation. Only moments passed before Rude

stood in his seat and said,

"Thank you for inviting me here. The category I am presenting is best seemingly useless, but important character. The nominees are Aeris, Lucrecia, Cait Sith, and Gast. The winner is…"

Link looked down at the envelope, and said, "…."

Rude said, "Aeris, by a landslide!"

"Aeris, or Aerith, is possibly Cloud or Zack's love interest. She fights using her staff and kind of useful healing powers. She is currently residing in the Life stream." Sora said as Aeris took her award.

"Thank you." She said, "I don't know if I should be honoured or offended by winning this category. Mom, Cloud, Zack, and everyone else who helped me get here, thank you!" She hurried back down to her seat, as

Kunsel took the stage.

"After all the hard work put into this show, I would think that it's only appropriate to thank Shin Ra company for their funding, Holiday Inn Midgar for providing accommodations, the LOVELESS theatre group for

providing the stage, and to SquareBroadcasts for letting us air without written consent. Now, the award for best theme song. Nominees are _Cloud Smiles _from Advent Children, _Sephiroth's theme_ from Final Fantasy VII

score, _Aerith's theme_, Crisis Core arrangement, and _Electric De Chocobo_ from Final Fantasy VII score. The winner is…" And the music started playing. Do do do do do do do do dododo.

"What?" Someone shouted.

"Oh, GOD NOT THAT!"

"HAHAHA!"

The crowd that knew it had started the Blue Badger dance, along with the Ace Attorney music.

"Sorry, wrong side!" Sora shouted. The tape clicked and Sephiroth's original theme played. Applause for the composition.

"Nobuo Uematsu could not make it, as he was unable to reach the dimensional rift in time for departure, but he offers his thanks."

The music faded and Kunsel left the stage. Rufus Shin Ra replaced him onstage, accompanied by Tseng and Elena.

"Thank you all for being here tonight. I understand many of you are from out of town, however much you know about our world. I am here to introduce you to Gaia, its inhabitants, and its recourses. Sora, roll the tape."

It grew dark, and a manly voice spoke in surround sound.

"Midgar. The epicenter of the Shin Ra company. Where the-"

"Stop talking like that, you imbecile! This is serious!" It was Rufus.

"But I wanted to try…"

"No buts, Palmer. Get out, I'll do it myself."

There was a slight creak as Palmer lifted himself out of the seat, and Rufus sat. Then he spoke.

"Midgar is the location of Shin Ra company, and is divided into different areas, or sectors. Before talking about the politics behind this, I would like to say…"

He drawled on, and slowly everyone watching became bored and distracted. Zack and Cloud had taken to playing Cat's Cradle, and even Rufus himself was slouched at the podium. The cameras following everything

were unstable because the tired out workers were sitting themselves in empty seats.

"Maybe we should turn this off in favour of some kind of intermission." Sora said, digging for the remote he had dropped. The screen zapped off, and the room lightened again. People let themselves into the

hallways, and chatter broke out. The backstage crew started walking around, moving sets and talking with each other. The show was more than half over, but it didn't feel that way. Not for Cait Sith. He sat alone,

sad that he hadn't won any awards. And then, he had a plan.


	9. The End

Here begins the end.

* * *

Sora sat in the sound booth at the back of the theater in a comfortable leather chair, surrounded by computers, TV sets, and a large control panel. It was to be used properly and carefully for the event, but had

barely been touched. Sora was scanning a web article about a new movie that was coming out, while waiting for the audience to let themselves back in the theatre to watch the rest of the awards show. It was

almost eight o'clock, and there were still several categories left. And a Chocobo petting zoo to be set up. Sora closed the window and stood up. He stretched himself out, and looked around the booth. The glass

front reflected his suit, (new for the occasion), and looked down on the seats. There were a few people already sitting again. Soon enough, the remaining seats were filled by people discussing the winners, losers,

and next category, which was to be best non-human, and it was sure going to be interesting.

Down on the ground, Barrett was on stage, getting ready for the category 'best weapon', which he was going to present. He tapped the microphone, leaned in awkwardly and said,

"Yo? Hey, is this thing on?" A few people nodded, and Kunsel gave him thumbs up from backstage.

"Kay. I am gonna present for best weapon. Nominees are Cloud's Buster Sword, Sephiroth's Masamune, Vincent's Cerberus, and my very own Gimmick Arm gun!" Everyone clapped and cheered, and Cait Sith

edged on stage to hand the envelope over. He didn't leave the stage. He was setting his plan into action.

Barrett opened the envelope quickly, tearing off the top. "'The Hell?" He exclaimed. "Buster sword won? Damn. C'mon up Cloud." More clapping for the winner. Cloud walked up stage, not phased by his win at all.

He reached the podium and took up the award. "Thanks, again. I think I covered everything in my first speech, but-" he glanced to the side. Cait Sith had sat down on a chair, and was looking around innocently.

"-Cait Sith, why are you still up here? I didn't think you won anything…"

"THAT'S IT!" The cat shouted, exasperated. "You have won every. Single. Award. And guess what, Cloud?" He said the name as if it were something you would find on the bottom of your shoe, "I. Don't. Like. It."

The cat punctuated every word. Then something else happened. He jumped on top of Cloud's head, and started hitting him violently, with his megaphone.

"Oh my god!" Someone in the audience cried.

"Cait Sith is beating up Cloud!" Another one screamed.

"No kidding, Sherlock!" The first fan replied sarcastically.

"Yeah." A girl with a Texan accent backed her up. "You're as stupid as my Genesis loving cousin from Kentucky!"

"Are you saying there's something wrong with Genesis?" A boy shouted.

"Yeah, I am!" Texas sneered.

From a booth above the chaos, Genesis and Angeal (who had ditched Zack for his other old friend) sat watching silently. Genesis' eye was twitching ever so slightly. _Just one more comment like that could send him _

_over the edge…_Angeal thought. Meanwhile, the fans continued their bickering about Genesis. Sarcastic Remark Girl was shouting again. "…well at least I don't stay up all night writing secret Mary Sue fantasies

about Genesis!"

"You think I do?" yelled a new voice. This girl was British, but Angeal was having a hard time placing the people downstairs. She continued, "Well I would, if we didn't all know Genesis and Angeal are the sexiest

yaoi couple!"

Genesis and Angeal screeched their chairs back and jumped up simultaneously. Genesis was already preparing a materia in his hand.

"Don't hurt anyone, please!" Angeal asked the first to use a quiet, polite voice since before intermission.

"Do I look gay to you?" Genesis said, fuming.

"No, but if you do this, you'll lose honour." Angeal argued.

"I lost my honour years before today." And the Fiagra was released.

Up on stage, Cait Sith was still bashing Cloud's head. Cloud now had a nosebleed, a black eye, and a small goose egg. For some reason, no one was coming to Cloud's rescue. Cait Sith was screaming as well,

audible even over Texas and Britain's argument in the crowd.

"That's what you get for being so awesome, Cloud, you Chocobo headed moron!" He hollered. Cloud was running from left stage to right, swatting at his head in vein, when he turned to see the huge fireball rocketing towards the two at top speed.

"HOLY SHI--" was all Cid could scream before the fireball crashed into the curtains and ignited them. Numerous Shin Ra employees ducked out of the backstage area, arms over their heads, running for the exits,

already clogged by fans and friends. Even Kadaj, who had been pouting in a corner seat, refusing to take notice to anything, was shrieking to his brothers to "grab the box! Don't leave it inside!" Of course, his

brothers were already gone, and had left whatever was in the box to a fate of flames.

Sora had rushed down and out to the front of the queue, directing people away with a wireless microphone. The Turks had systematically and successfully evacuated the President out of the building via secret

escape route. As for Cloud and Cait Sith, well…they had managed to push their way outside into the cool night, where the Highwind was loitering. Forgetting his bike, Cloud jumped aboard, letting Cait Sith lose his

grip on Cloud's hair. He slipped down his leg, and Cloud started kicking around, trying to throw him off. But the cat came back, and Cloud had to deal with his ranting, all the way to Rocket Town, where the gang

would hide until things blew over.

"See." Reeve Tuesti mumbled to no one. "They're all safe. And I got my award." A television set on the wall showed a shaky first person view of the interior of the Highwind, where his robotic cat was now holding

on tightly to a golden, meteor shaped trophy. Reeve, who was not at the event, watched his other televisions as news reporters talked rapid fire at the camera about the night's events.

"Security video shows a small cat like creature jumped on the head of the fan favourite, Cloud Strife, and…"

"Tseng, representative for the Shin Ra Company tells us 'we had nothing to do with this, and we apologize deeply to the public'."

"Everyone evacuated Loveless theater at about eight thirty this evening, after a fire broke out on stage. Sources say Genesis Rhapsodos produced…"

The six different screens snapped off. Reeve spun around in his chair and rubbed his forehead. Sure, he had been in control, but sometimes, he thought that cat had a mind of its own. He was at fault, though. And

there was a deeper meaning to all the pandemonium, wasn't there? But motives were another story, and right then, Reeve was too drunk to elaborate.

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed this. I didn't get nearly as many reviews as I would have liked, but oh well.


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